Back with your latest installment of…SHENANIGANS!
Last week was a BIG week for me. A week of EPIC proportions. Which by the way, let me just stop and mention how much I despise the word “epic.” I hate it. Mostly I think I hate it because I feel like it’s over used. Same goes with the word “AMAZING.” Of course, my deep negative feelings of these words doesn’t stop me from using them.
I guess that’s just how I roll.
Anyway…back to last week.
It was a doozy. (I just “urban dictionar(ied) the word doozy) Do you ever do that…consult Urban Dictionary for the spelling or meaning of a slang word?
Well, I do.
What of it?
My doozy of a week started on Wednesday afternoon and ran through Friday afternoon. My boss was hosting a rather large meeting with his direct reports (most of them traveled to Atlanta from Europe) in Atlanta on Thursday and Friday with a “group outing” on Wednesday night.
Guess who had to go…
So, I put on my “big girl panties” and I went. However…I didn’t go without pitching a fit. I made sure to share with those I’m closest to in the office how much I was DREADING having to go. You want to know why?! I was the ONLY FEMALE going to the meeting!! If there is anything in this world that will make my skin crawl…it’s being the ONLY woman amongst a bunch of men.
What is it about me? Why do I suffer from such feelings?
Same goes when you put me in a large group of people that I don’t know very well. I go into complete SHUT DOWN mode.
People who know me on a personal level in real life just can’t believe it when I confess this about myself. I’m a rather outgoing person (news to you, right?!)…I suppose you could say I’m an extrovert. However, you stick me in a group of people that I don’t know…I turn into an introvert at the snap of a finger and get labeled as the “standoffish” bish.
SHOCKING, I know!
I’m working on it.
You know what they say, right?! Being able to recognize and admit you have a problem is the first step.
Part of me agreeing to actually spend 2.5 days IN Atlanta, WITHOUT my husband, FOR work…was to prove to myself that I COULD do it.
…And do it I did.
I decided the night before I left that the only thing I could do was be myself. Once I came to terms with that, everything else just fell into place.
I had RIDICULOUS anxiety leading up to Wednesday afternoon, so I put my BEST foot forward and faced that group of middle-aged men with the brightest smile I could muster.
Looking back, the thing that I find the MOST interesting about my time with these guys last week is that they were equally as interested in ME as an American woman as I was in them as European men.
Meaning, most of them just wanted to know about what my life was like here in the States. What a normal day was for me, what I’m interested in, if I had any hobbies, what my husband does, if I had kids…the list went on and on.
While what I’m sharing with you tonight may not seem like that big of a deal to you…it was a MONUMENTAL moment for me. I’m still patting myself on the back for facing one of my biggest fears and conquering it like a boss. Life is about taking chances…it’s about putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and finding out that you CAN come out unscathed.
That my friends….is one of the BEST feelings in the world!!